It’s that time of year again, the time when we all look forward to summer, and the festival season! So you’ve heard all about last years festival and saved just enough to buy your weekend ticket. All there is to do is log on or ring up, buy your ticket and hey presto music madness is on it’s way. Going to a festival can be a steep learning curve, so it’s important you’ve got at least some idea of the rules and general festival etiquette. As this will be my fifth festival year, I decided plan upon plans to create a guide to try and help… maybe… even if it’s just to warn you not what to do!

Let’s look at my favourite first Leeds or Reading, it doesn’t matter which one, all there is to know is it’s summer time and it’s unlikely to rain, if it does, well everyone likes to have a good dance in the rain dont they? By the end of an act it’s hard to tell the difference between the earth’s natural coolant and the sweat dripping off you and others alike.

So one big secret how to survive the festival season, don’t go overboard with the good boy or girl scout, yes it’s good to be prepared and while two pairs of boots, wellies, trainers and one less formal shoe may well try and sneak themselves into your bags I can assure you they wont be needed. Last year a pair of flip flop’s, and some trainers was all i needed. Admittedly, i was lucky it was a great heat wave of a weekend, but each and every year I tell people less is more! Flip flops are a great way of really getting into a festival, as long as you keep topped up with alcohol to ensure your feet are well and truly numb while the bloke next to you slams down on your bare toes for the fifth time that act. Essentially three pairs of shoes is a maximum.

But seriously, the amount of unneeded crap people bring and leave every year is ridiculous. The end of the festival has become known as treasure hunt time! A game to find the best bit of booty, which over the years has included numerous hoodies… in great condition, a pair of DC’s….clean! Jumpers, tops, blow up sofas, deck chairs, even a mattress! The list goes on and on. It’s beyond me how people can carry all that to the campsite, generally two trips to the car with alcohol breaks is all i can manage!

For any of you fesival virgins out there, when considering V or Glastonbury it’s a totally different setup. Be prepared for mud, rain, sun or even all three. A good pair of wellies, lots of clean socks and even, yes I’m going to say it, a waterproof is needed here. Pretty funky raincoats are out there now though so even in the worst conditions you can still look pretty damn good! Two jumpers, a couple of t-shirts or vests, a pair of jeans, short’s and a dress is my ususal luggage, and that’s a heavy load!

If you’re el cheapo, or you’re just strapped for cash I would advise taking as much food and drink with you. Now there’s no need to be obsessive over this, like a mate of mine, who last year devoted an entire full adult size hiking rucksack food and many a carrier bag to drink. I will give him credit though, for keeping us alive towards the last night and day, as we called upon him to feed us. With money getting short and burger’s starting to loose their appeal for breakfast! Honestly though, take alot of water. Between eight of us last year we got through 24 bottles. Whether it was drinking it, cleaning our teeth, hair, cooking with or even for those good old fashioned water fights, i can assure you no matter how much you take you’ll still run out. Especially if it’s going to be a hot one, and a cooler box is also really handy, after all no-one likes drinking warm water.

I can’t mention festivals without the toilets, anyone who has ever been to a festival will grimace at the thought of them. All i’m going to say is, girls especially, make sure you stock up with plenty of toilet roll and get those thighs working out, only stamina, endurance and pure muscle will see you through toilet ventures, only if you’re prepared to hover! There’s no amount of money that would make me sit on those make shift wooden toilet frames above a big cess pit! To be fair even the portaloo’s look pretty grim after a day! I’m not quite sure what it did for them but, my guy mates seemed to follow the trend of taking baby wipes with them for well, toilet buisness, if anyone could shed some light on that one? Maybe it was a guy thing! One last piece of toilet advice, take a deep deep breath before entering any toilet zone, and seriously  don’t be tempted to camp near them, it may seem like a good idea at the time if you’re the weak bladder type but listen, in the long run it really isn’t worth it!

A good festival, for me consists of great friends, plenty of food and drink, a good camp setup and that vital warm hoody, essential for the late nights. But to have fun you have to be safe, you don’t want to be running out of phone battery when trying to meet up with everyone. Realistically, a little preparation does come in handy, so here are a few quick tips to keep you going…

1. Make sure you have some warm clothes for the colder nights, it does get chilly!

2. Take good energy food and things that will fill you up or wont go off

3. Have at least one pair of sensible shoes, it makes life for your feet a lot nicer!

4. Keep all valuables on you at all times and in a safe place, it’s a thieves paradise out there with all thoses tents so be aware.

5. Don’t forget your ticket! As silly as it sounds I’ve heard of people doing this!

6. Make sure you know where you’re going, again, may sound silly but you don’t want to get lost.

7. Take a torch, especially good for those late night toilet trips to help avoid those pesky guy ropes that love to take you down.

8. Take a phone, preferably with full battery, phone charging stations are available, but are always crammed with people and they don’t accept all models.

9. Take lot’s of water to keep hydrated, yes festivals and alcohol go hand in hand, but make sure you keep healthy and hydrated at the same time. We don’t want anyone collapsing out there… you’ll end up missing you’re favourite acts.

10. And finally, have fun just remember everyone’s there for the same reason, to have a good time, don’t mess with other people and they wont mess with you!